When you feel stuck, start here
Most people think feeling stuck means they’re doing something wrong. They assume they’ve become lazy, unmotivated or emotionally weak, so they start trying to force themselves back into motion via another podcast or another routine (or another routine that another podcast suggests!).
But, being stuck usually has less to do with discipline than exhaustion.
And I’m not just talking physical exhaustion either, though that’s often part of it. The type of exhaustion I’m talking about comes from carrying too much for too long while pretending it’s manageable because everyone else seems to be doing the same thing. You get used to functioning in survival mode, which can look like keeping up with friends, going to work and making dinner each night, as though nothing is building. Meanwhile, your body keeps tightening around stress you haven’t actually processed. And you can only constrict for so long.
A lot of people don’t realize how disconnected they’ve become until even basic things start seeming way harder than they should: responding to emails might feel weirdly emotional, or you might wake up tired no matter how much sleep you got.
And then comes the guilt, because wellness culture has convinced us that if we aren’t thriving, glowing and grateful every second, we must be failing at taking care of ourselves. Not true!
What is true is that most people do not need to become entirely new versions of themselves. They need to feel safe in their bodies again. Here are my top tips for doing that.
Don’t try to fix yourself all at once
One of the fastest ways to stay overwhelmed is to treat your life like a renovation project by overhauling everything. No, you don’t need to suddenly cut out sugar, commit to a 5 a.m. alarm, buy a meditation app or swear you’re done with doomscrolling forever. In fact, overcommitting usually leads to a crash and makes one feel even worse about themselves.
That’s because your body does not respond well to punishment disguised as self-improvement, and that’s exactly what you’d be doing if you told it to cease all familiar comforts immediately.
If you’ve been stressed, anxious, lonely, heartbroken, burnt out or emotionally disconnected for a long time, your nervous system is probably already overloaded. Adding pressure rarely creates lasting change. It usually creates more shame.
There’s a much more sustainable way to start, and that’s by paying attention to what activities make you feel more of yourself. The version of you that you are right now.
Maybe that means eating breakfast before your second coffee instead of surviving on caffeine until 2 p.m., or taking a walk without listening to a productivity podcast. It could also look like going to bed earlier, because your body has been begging for rest and you keep negotiating with it, as if sleep is optional.
These things may seem small, but it's often small things that bring people back to themselves. I’m living proof of that!
Your body and emotions are not separate
People love separating mental health from physical health as if the body has no idea what’s happening emotionally, but stress, grief, loneliness—they all live somewhere.
The usual symptoms of holding onto these feelings are clenched jaws, stomach issues, brain fog, insomnia, inflammation, shallow breathing and disproportionate reactions to what’s happening around you. It’s because, try as you might, you cannot constantly override your needs and expect your body not to react eventually.
Sometimes, feeling stuck is really just chronic dysregulation.
It gets severe when you’ve spent so much time overstimulated and emotionally maxed out that your system no longer knows how to settle, and then one day you notice you can’t focus, you feel detached from everything you used to enjoy, and your body feels heavy in ways you can’t quite articulate.
This is why we need to get real about holistic health. While solid options, green smoothie and 30-minute workout won’t fix everything. You need to allow room for recovery so your nervous system can finally catch a break.
Pay attention to what drains you
Similarly, paying attention to what feels good, one of the most helpful things you can do when you feel stuck is to be honest about what your life feels like with certain people, habits and environments.
Some relationships leave your body tense long after the conversation ends, while some routines leave you feeling dull and disconnected, even if they once seemed engaging. Your body notices these things before your brain does!
There’s a reason people feel different after spending time near water, sitting in sunlight, cooking a real meal or talking to someone who makes them feel understood. The body responds to safety and presence just as it responds to chaos, criticism and emotional unpredictability.
No, you don’t need to disappear indefinitely while you figure it out. Most people just need more moments to hear themselves think again.
Immediate adjustments can look like opening the windows to breathe in fresh air with your eyes closed, putting your phone in another room for an hour, making plant-based food that feels nourishing rather than convenient, and calling a friend who makes you have a full-bodied laugh that relaxes your being.
Move in ways that bring you back
A lot of people have completely lost their connection to movement because exercise has become tangled up with guilt, appearance and self-worth. Nothing frustrates me more than the way patriarchy and capitalism have associated exercise with external outcomes.
Movement is supposed to help you feel alive inside your body, not trapped inside it!
Not every form of wellness needs to become another thing you track, optimize or perform. Sure, you can lift weights. You can also take a long walk to decompress if your body is craving calm.
Some of the healthiest people I know are not the ones obsessing over online routines. They’re the people who have found sustainable ways to stay connected to themselves. They know how to rest before burnout completely wipes them out and how to enjoy their lives without turning every choice into a moral issue. That’s because they know their well-being is essential to helping the world become a better place.
Start smaller than you think you need
Just as the title suggests, here are a few simple ways you can start decompressing, healing and aligning your life. If you only do one, that’s enough for now.
Go outside within 10-15 minutes of waking up
Make the doctor’s appointment you’ve been avoiding
Let yourself rest without needing to justify it
Elevate your legs on the wall as you lie down before bed
Say “no” to an invitation that doesn’t excite you
Spend one full hour without your phone when you can otherwise be on it
Tune into how these activities help you slowly return to who you were before stress, burnout, and disappointment convinced you to disappear from your own life a little. And if you have further suggestions, let me know!